It took me 9 years to understand the difference between “being sick” and “feeling sick” and it would not have happened if I didn’t have to live with 2 extra special ribs in my body.
“Cervical rib or Neck rib” is a “special” abnormality in a human body….where one or two extra ribs are present in body. 0.2% people are born with this condition. In some people cervical ribs don’t cause any noticeable pain or discomfort. But sometimes they want to play games with our lives and cause “Thoracic outlet syndrome” or TOS and other fancy conditions.
Don’t get me wrong here…but it’s cool to be “special” if u get laser vision or super healing power or ability to be invisible but cervical ribs…..uhuh! Not so much!
Many (or some?) of us having this condition know how “interesting” it is to live with this everyday. I mean, come one, who are we kidding! We know we are no less than a superhero who can live with constant pain but still manage to smile, wake up in the morning for a new day hoping for a better world (without pain, most likely).
Yes I know, it’s not deadly like cancer or understandable like Dementia in old age. It’s a frigging way of nature to show us that she can do whatever she likes, however she likes; with no apparent reason.
But it’s not easy to accept that you can no longer play the outdoor games you loved or pursue the profession you studied for a long time or hold the baby you love more than your life or do the simple tasks like styling your hair for a date night or cook for your family.
It becomes somewhat easier if you have got supportive people in your life. But some people will judge you and irritate the hell out of you asking silly questions like, “does it really hurt?” or, “it’s all in your head, you just need to go out more often” or, “ I have got a bad cold (cough cough )….my throat hurts too.”
When I hear these things I feel like “lending” those people my ribs so that they can feel how I feel everyday. (“I don’t want these anymore. Take it for me please!”)
I have also heard someone with a boil in posterior (!) to tell me that my pain is tolerable compared to that posterior pain (OUCH!)!!!
Oh yes…it’s tolerable because God doesn’t burden us with pain if He didn’t give us the strength to bear it in the first place…and the greater the tolerance the greater the tests. That is why someone’s pain in the buttock appears greater than someone’s constant pain in neck, shoulders, hands and fingers.
I have not only faced difficulties in physical aspect, but also in emotional, social and financial aspects. I have passed sleepless nights due to pain, depression and denial. I have shut myself in my room many weeks so that I don’t have to face the world and answer so many questions. But in time I came to realize I am not cutting myself off the world, I am just detaching my body from my soul and it was ME who was loosing all the beautiful little things in this world.
I face the demon in me everyday, who tells me to give up. But I still fight every single day. I have learnt gradually that the negative aura from my body is just damaging my soul. But I have learnt better not to “feel” sick.
I have been physically better, yes, BUT I FEEL GREAT!
- Are you also a chronic pain sufferer and would like to know how I cope with it everyday? Click here and here.